I’m house sitting for a friend in the middle of no where. it is the best thing ever.
I am in the middle of a corn field. with a giant puppy. a huge pile of logs.seriously great.
I went on a massively long walk through acres of land with giant floppy puppy. I need to do it everyday for the rest of my life!
there is that 25 thing going around on facebook. i like it and keep thinking of other shit to write.
1. i am an art major who hates to sketch
2. i never forget names and faces. not names or faces, names AND faces. i have to have both in order to remember a person.
3. not many people remember me after the first time they meet me. its ok, its nice watching them feel uncomfortable when i know their names and remember the entirety of our last conversation.
4. dirty shoe laces and velrco make me nauseous.
5. listening to people biting their nails also makes me nauseous
6. i can see my self every day begin to resemble my mother more and more, physically and psychologically. its terrifying.
7. i stopped riding a bike for 4 years when i was 8
8.i met someone who follows me on twitter for the first time yesterday. he is really cute. and thinks my name is alexcupcakes.
9. i like drawing little monsters
10.i have my moms credit card saved on a website and whenever i feel sad, i buy something off of it.
11. all i have eaten for the last day and a half is popcorn and apple sauce.
12. i have three day planners. and i write everything down in each one because i am afraid that if i don’t i will forget something.
13. sometimes i think i will never reach my full potential. in anything.
14. being unemployed sucks. i think my mom and my boyfriend think that i am lazy and i don’t want to work. i have applied for 32 jobs in the last 72 hours. i think that maybe i do want to work.
15. i steal things from all of my friends houses. little things, like little tins, books, nail polish. i don’t know why.
16. i think that maybe i am too judgemental
17. the most romantic moment of my life happens everytime chris sleeps over. we talk for hours until we fall asleep.
18. frozen peas and carrots are delicious.
19. i think more people would be better off if they ended their relationships. i can’t tell if that is true about mine. i don’t think it is.
20. i have the worst character judgment
21. i often have trouble following through
22. i have had 4 therapists.
23. there is -$75 in my bank account.
24. sometimes i wish i were a cat.
25. i love they way peoples houses smell. even if they smell bad. i wish i could smell what my house smelled like.
i can’t seem to get the memory of my grandmother whispering “dear, heart” over my grandfather’s grave out of my head today.
please send this girl lots and lots of hate mail telling her why she is an idiot.
i just saw this ad on the little ad side bar thingy on facebook that said something like “what is the point of religion? does god really exist? if you have questions like these there have to be some answers somewhere. click here blah blah blah”
first of all: REALLY?!?! really? you sure you want to do this?
second: any website promising you answers about the origin of life is either selling you something, or trying to convert you to the church of unification. and before you start bitching about the fact that i used unificationists for this example, i would just like to state for the record that i have a ton of Mooney(sp?) friends. none of them seem to know exactly what their religion means, but they are all good and devout little moonies(again, how do you spell that?).
i’m not sure, but i think that the authors of the content of the website think that young people questioning their religion are going to start by logging on to the fb and magically run into their ad. “My goodness! I knew there was a higher power! It must have heard my prayers and sent me this website to answer all of my questions and effectively and cohesively disprove the Big Bang Theory and the Theory of Evolution!”
yeah. ok.
clearly my problems with organized religion run ruuuuuul deep. hah.
i thought that maybe i just wasn’t a passionate enough person to have the kind of desperate longing and reckless lust you feel a relationship should have. you know the kind in movies? where the guy says to the girl “i can’t live without you.” and she sobs a little and he walks to her really fast and somehow they are kissing with all this urgency but like they have all the time in the world?
yes. that was still a question.
well, i’m never going to have it. and when i realized this, my first emotional response was dissapointment. but really, lets think about it. disect it a little. number one: didn’t your mother ever tell you that life isn’t like the movies? mine sure as hell did. number two:yes, the lust and passion and whatnot is nice. awesome, even. and i’m sure the sex is great. but where does it come from? answer: fear. this crazy incurable anguish comes from the fear that you subconciously hold onto about your significant other cheating on you, leaving you, or stabbing you to death in a bathtub full of shredded tires and baby oil.
movies never tell you that after their passionate makeout in front of an applauding crowd of adorable infants, cute grandmas and several hundred puppies, they wake up after a night full of boot knocking, they start arguing about who’s going to make the coffee, who’s turn it was to buy the coffee, why there isn’t any toilet paper, et cetera, et cetera. you get the point right?
i think that maybe i am happy now that i realize there will never be a time in almost every relationship i have, where i am consumed by this fearlust. Passiondespair is just not fun, no matter how you look at it.
now look at this picture of kissing.
You forget how important certain things are to you when you are in a relationship. You forget to care how smart someone is, or how funny. Then you part ways, oh so sorrowfully. Then you find someone new. Who is better is almost everyway.
You know. Unless you’re an idiot.
also: i’m the master of good advice, yet i can’t seem to take my own. ever.
Iflipped a shit a little with Obama’s “surprise” appearance.
In other news: I love cheese
